More Than Okay

“There’s Jo.” Yvonne elbowed my side, and I turned around without thinking it over. It wasn’t very smooth, but now that I had turned around, I couldn’t very well turn back. And she was right, Jo was there, vending his way between the tables towards us. Tarjei, Yvonne’s ex-boyfriend, followed behind him.

“He’s joining us for drinks.” Tarjei nodded at Jo as he put his own and Yvonne’s drinks down on the table.

Jo sat down on the chair next to me and slid one of the two glasses he was carrying over to me. “Frozen margarita,” he explained, though he didn’t really have to. It was my very favourite cocktail, and though it wasn’t on the bar-menu, Jo always made it for me when I ordered anyway.

“Why’re you done so early?” I asked after taking a sip of the drink. Perfectly made, as per usual. Jo was an exceptional barman.

“It’s your birthday.” He grinned and bumped his shoulder with mine. “Thought I’d come celebrate as well.” He leaned in close to hug me and I was ashamed to say I clung to him, enjoying the small piece of intimacy we could have. “Happy birthday, love.” Oh, if only that sentiment could be true, in the proper sense of the word.

I caught Yvonne staring at me. She cocked one finely shaped, dark eyebrow. I grimaced at her, but when I saw that both Jo and Tarjei was looking at me, I turned my head away to enjoy my cocktail in peace. When I’d finished the cocktail, Yvonne downed the rest of her drink, then she got up from her seat and rounded the table to tug on my arm.

“Come on, let’s go do a couple of shots!” she called over the music.

I followed her willingly. I felt shots were an extremely good idea right about now. Jo and Tarjei stayed at the table.

“Tonight’s your night,” Yvonne said in my ear as we positioned ourself at the bar to await our turn. “He’s out with us. He’s drinking. Get him drunk and bang him, then it’ll be done.”

I laughed at that. Everything seemed to be so simple for Yvonne. Fuck them and all would be good. Maybe for her it was like that. I wasn’t like her though, and Jo wasn’t one of her conquests. Jo was my cousin, yet I was still madly in love with him. Had been for years. I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t had a crush on Jo. It must’ve been in my pre-teen years, because as soon as I started noticing blokes, I was noticing him.

Yvonne ordered Sambuca shots. Four of them. She paid before I’d managed to blink, then motioned to two of the glasses. “Come on. Let’s finish these, then get out of here. We need to find a dance floor!”

I downed first one shot, then the other. The alcohol burned going down, but nothing was as effective to loosen me up as shots were. As long as I didn’t take too many and end up being sick. Nothing was as mood-killer as being sick.

Yvonne didn’t ask the lads if they wanted to head off to another bar, she demanded it. So we headed up to the street above the one we were on, were the second most popular bar lay. The one we’d left was the most popular, but it’s one drawback was that it didn’t have a dance floor. They paid the cover, because none of them wanted me to pay, even if I insisted. Drawback to being the birthday girl, I suppose.

This place was even more crowded than the one we’d left, and I could swear someone touched my bum at one point over to the bar, but that was to be expected. This bar was a lot trashier than the first one, which was the town’s most classy.

“Jo!” Yvonne waved Jo over to her at the bar. “Shots!” Was all I could hear over the thumping music.

Tarjei grinned at me, then took my hand and led me out onto the dance floor. Now, if there was anything I knew how to do, it was to dance. I’d been dancing my entire life, and though it was ballet, contemporary and jazz, I had no problems dancing in a club. Tarjei was a good dancer too, and we always ended up dancing when we went out together.

“You look stunning tonight, love,” Tarjei yelled at me so I’d hear him over the music.

“Thanks!” I grinned and swung in towards him again. “You’re not looking so bad yourself.”

We scanned the club for Yvonne and Jo once the song ended and found that they’d actually found us a table. We made our way over there, and received our drinks. Jo had bought me a mojito now, since this bar did not know how to make a frozen margarita.

“Let’s go to the toilet!” Yvonne called. I nodded and she yelled to the lads where we were going.

We went into the same stall as we got there, both since the other was taken, and because we tended to do that when we were out drinking. The music wasn’t as ear-shattering loud in the toilet either.

“Seriously, Christina, you’re chance is right here. You got to take it.” Yvonne finishing peeing, then flushed the toilet before she pulled her dress down into place. I did my business as well, because why not? We were already there, and alcohol tended to go straight through me.

“Yvonne, seriously—”

“I mean it! He couldn’t take his eyes off of you when you were dancing with Tarjei. He’s as obsessed about you as you are with him, girl. He left work early just to celebrate your birthday with you. That says everything.” Yvonne pointed at me as she said it. “I got some shots in him earlier, he’s got another beer. I say you take him to the men’s toilet, get his cock out, your knickers off, and bang him.”

The simple thought of Jo’s cock made my body react. I brushed my dress down, almost like I was afraid it would show. Of course it didn’t. The dress might be tight, but it wasn’t like the evidence of my desire would ever show like it did for blokes.

I didn’t answer, but Yvonne’s expression was knowing. We washed our hands, then headed back out. The table they’d found for us was up in the corner with the sofas, and I slid down next to Jo. Yvonne dragged Tarjei with her out onto the dance-floor. I suspected it was to give us privacy, and I was both happy about it and panicked.

Jo was smiling at me. “Have you had a good day so far?” He leaned in close to me, so he didn’t have to shout. He was so close I could smell his cologne, even in the crowded, stuffy club smelling of beer and alcohol and sweat.

“I have. Went out with the family for dinner, then Yvonne and I started drinking back home before we went out.” The family consisted of my brother, little sister, my cousin and my uncle. We all lived with my uncle, who’d taken us in when our dad killed himself.

We talked for a bit longer, but I couldn’t even remember what it was about, because his hand was suddenly on my thigh. I wasn’t wearing a pantyhose, so his palm was rubbing right on my bare skin. His hand started inching up, reaching the hem of my dress, and then slipping under.

My breath hitched, then my heart started beating twice as quickly as it had before. I turned my head, found his face right there as he’d been talking in my ear, and I kissed him. And best of all, he kissed me back. His stubble raked my chin, but that lent to the eroticism of it all. His hand was all the way under my dress now, rubbing against the front of my fanny. My knickers were still on, but that didn’t detract from it at all. I could practically feel myself dripping.

I wrapped one arm around his shoulders while we continued to kiss, while I moved the other down to run over the front of his jeans. He was hard. I pressed my palm against the hard length trapped beneath the course fabric. Damn it all, but Yvonne was right for once.

We ended up in the men’s toilet. It was empty when we got there, thankfully, and we locked ourself in one of the two stalls. If I’d been a bit more sober, I would’ve probably thought it tacky to shag in a toilet in a club, that was more Yvonne’s style, but I wanted him so much. I’d take him anywhere. He pressed me up against the closed door and kissed me again, while I unbuttoned his jeans. I reached into them, slipping my hand under the hem of his underwear, and finally wrapped my fingers around hard cock. I pushed underwear and jeans down so it sprang free.

He bucked against me, then reached down and hiked my dress up. His fingers slipped into my panties, running over my clit. He must feel how wet I was, because he inserted two fingers in me straight away. I was panting. It wasn’t his fingers I wanted though, and I grabbed his arse to pull him in closer to me.

He took the hint. He removed his hand, then grabbed a hold of me and lifted me up. I gasped in surprise, but pulled my panties out of the way as he positioned himself. The head of his cock breached me and I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me. He was both long and thick, but I was so bloody turned on that he slid right home.

“Yes,” I whimpered, tilted my head back to rest against the door. “Yes, yes, yes.”

He pulled back, then thrust up again, harder this time. I wrapped my arms properly around his shoulders so he wouldn’t drop me in the passion. I moved with his thrusts, which were gaining speed and strength, and he was ramming into me in the end. I loved every second of it though. I didn’t mind rough sex, not at all. Sweet and slow had it’s advantages, but not for this hook-up.

I was pretty sure I heard laughter, but it was as if it came from far away, because my orgasm was building, and it was coming on quick. Before I knew, I was crying out and clutching at his shoulder, probably so hard my nails scraped his skin. He was bucking frantically against me and then he came, shooting into me. He continued to thrust until he was dry, then he slowly pulled out and set me back down on my feet.

My legs were shaking, but I managed to pull my knickers into place again and my dress down. I could feel his semen trickling out of me, wetting the panties, but our encounter had been so good I’d deal with that uneasiness.

“Come home with me.” He was pulling his pants and jeans up, but eyes were still clouded with desire when he looked at me.

I nodded. I couldn’t even speak. The whole hook-up had me weak in the knees and speechless. It was pathetic—but it was also everything I’d dreamed of. I’d finally had Jo, the way I’d always wanted to have him.

I managed to catch Yvonne’s attention in the doorway, so I didn’t have to go back into the crowded club. I put my thumb and little finger to ear and mouth, in the universal sign of ‘I’ll call you’. She nodded, winked, and then went back to Tarjei. Jo was behind me, and he put a hand at the small of my back as we went downstairs.

Jo didn’t live far from the bar, so we walked. I was a bit unsteady, but he was at my side, supporting me. I couldn’t stop looking at him. He made such a fine figure in the loose-fitting jeans and the light blue shirt. I knew what hid underneath that shirt though. A fit body, with muscular arms and several tattoos. His tattoos had always had be drooling.

Once we were in his flat, I was struggling to get my high heels off. I couldn’t very well bend over, because I was afraid of loosing my balance, but lifting one foot up also posed that problem. Jo was laughing at me, but he bent down to undo the clash around my ankle. He took of one shoe, then the other, and both times he let his hands stroke up my legs. Thank god I’d shaved properly that morning.

“I’m dripping your come,” was what came out of my mouth though and I closed my eyes in mortification.

He laughed again, then stood up and hugged me close. “Come on, let’s get some water in you.”

I trailed after him into the kitchen, where he filled up a big beer glass with tap water for me. I drank greedily from it. I’d definitely had too much to drink.

“Do you want to take a shower?”

“No.” All I wanted was him close to me again. Kissing me, touching me, fucking me. I’d take only one of them, I wasn’t greedy. But I did manage to keep my mouth shut this time though, so I didn’t make a blabbering fool out of myself.

“Let’s go to bed then.”

Now that I liked the sound of. I took the water with me into his bedroom, where he instantly started to unbutton his shirt. I watched in fascination as his chest, wide and flat and smattered with hair, was revealed. Next came his broad shoulders, then his arms, one of which was covered in a tattoo sleeve. His stomach, also flat and with a treasure trail leading straight down into the low-hanging jeans.

“Alcohol’s catching up to you, love. Water will hopefully make you less hung-over tomorrow, but sleep help as well.”

He only wanted to sleep? I was taken aback by that, but I’d least I’d get to sleep in his bed. He had a guest room, he could’ve told me to go sleep there if he hadn’t wanted me in his bed. So I shimmied out of my dress, leaving my bra and panties on, even if the latter was wet from our previous encounter. I slid into one side of the bed and watched as he pulled his jeans off. He was left standing there in only his tight-fitting boxers, which outlined his flaccid cock.

He went to shut the bedroom door, then he slid in next to me. In fact, he slid over to me and wrapped his arm around my waist.

I turned onto my side, so he could press up against my back. The hair on his chest and his legs tickled me slightly for a moment as we settled in together. His cock was nestled against my bum and it was hardening up by the second. Oh yeah, he so wanted me. I reached behind me to run my hand over his underwear, feeling his cock up.

“Christina,” he groaned against my neck. “Weren’t we suppose to sleep?”

“Sleep can wait.” I wanted him so badly. I’d had him once, but that hadn’t been enough. That had been in the toilet of a club, with people on the other side of the door knowing exactly what had been going on. We were in a bed now, his bed, and I wanted him fully.

I reached my hand up further between us, until it was at a severely awkward angle. I did manage to open my bra though, which had been my goal. He didn’t let me go, but I did manage to get rid of it. I threw it away, not caring where it landed as I turned onto my back. His face was so close to me now and I pulled my wet panties down as well, kicking them off my legs once they reached my ankles.

“Jo,” I moaned, leaning in to kiss him.

His fingers ran over my stomach, all feather-light, then down to my fanny. He pushed two fingers inside. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough.

“You,” I muttered against his lips. “I want you inside me. I’m all loose from before, it’s not like you’re going to hurt me.”

He chuckled, but did as I demanded. His boxers were gone in an instant and he was lying down in-between my thighs. I hiked my legs further up to hook them over his waist. His cock slid right into me, rubbing right up against the g-spot.

He hooked his arms under my shoulders and I wrapped mine around his. We were both naked now and lying down, so different from earlier. Earlier had been quick and rough and just needing to get off, while this … this was slower, more intimate, though we were both still working towards getting off.

I was moaning louder now than I had in that toilet, because here no one was around to hear us. His thrust was so deep and so accurate, and I knew I was already close to coming again. Alcohol always made me come faster than I would normally do, but I also knew it was because of him. Because I finally had him. How many years hadn’t I dreamed of this?

“Oh, Jo, yeah, right there.” Yes, yes, yes. I was coming with a loud moan. My back arched off the bed, pressing my breasts against his chest.

His hands grabbed at me, sliding over my skin, which was slick with sweat. He was too though, so we were on the same page. His thrust stuttered to a halt, then started up again for a couple of short, jabbing thrust in which he came inside me for the second time that night.

He collapsed at my side and I curled up against him. I really should go to the toilet, to reduce the risk of a UTI, since those were not fun to deal with, but this was too good to pass up. His arm curled around me.

“Should we talk about this?” I didn’t want to break the good, post-orgasmic bliss I was in, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking it either.

“Let’s go to sleep. It’s been a long night. I’m tired. We can talk in the morning, if you want.”

I nodded and buried down against him. I slid my leg over his thighs, tangling our legs. Lying there, completely sated and happy, enjoying the feeling of Jo’s big, strong body next to me, I fell asleep.

I was in a pair of his joggers and t-shirt the next morning, curled up on his couch and eating Cheerios when he finally came shuffling out of the bedroom. “You like to sleep in long?” I teased, as I took in his broad, toned backside. The muscles moved as he put on water to heat and spooned some coffee powder into a cup.

“I’m used to working nights, so I sleep in in the morning.” He glanced over his shoulder at me, but he stayed at the counter until the water was heated up. Then he filled himself a cup and came over to drop down next to me.

I took another spoon of Cheerios as he sipped his coffee. Borrowing his clothes wasn’t what made me feel awkward. I’d done that before. What was awkward was that I would have to initiate a conversation. A conversation that was serious and one I didn’t know how would end. “Is this just a one-night thing?” It was better to jump with both feet in, I suppose.

“Depends on you.”

“On me? Why?” I put my hand on his forearm, rubbing his skin. He was still cradling his coffee cup between his palms, but he didn’t move away from my touch either, so I guess that was good.

“I want this to be more. But you’re the one pulling the shots here. If you want this to be a one-night thing, then that’s what it’ll be.”

“I don’t want that.” That was the last thing I wanted. “Do you have any idea how many years I’ve wanted you? Too many to count, Jo.”

“I doubt that.” He chuckled. “You have just turned twenty-one.”

“I have always wanted you,” I revealed. It was easy to say now, after we’d had sex twice the night before. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t want him anymore, because recent actions spoke otherwise.

“Doesn’t it bother you that we’re related?” I could tell from the sudden serious note to his tone that it bothered him.

“It’s not like it’s illegal. We’re not doing anything wrong. We can even get married, if we should want to someday. That’s how legal it is. So no, it doesn’t bother me. It never has.” Maybe I was just very open minded, but that was the truth of the matter.

“You don’t come from the same family history as I do,” he muttered, bowing his head.

“What do you— oh!” It dawned on me before I was even finished asking the question. “Shit, Jo. I didn’t even think about that.” I put my bowl of Cheerios down on the table and turned so I could face him fully. “It’s bothered you then. This between us.”

“Of course. My own uncle abused my little brother for so many years. Jørgen can’t even stand to look at me.”

“Because he was the victim, while you weren’t?” I knew Jo a lot better than I knew Jørgen. Jørgen kept to himself, he hardly ever spoke to anyone in the family. I couldn’t really blame him either, after the childhood he’d had. Still, the fact that Jo came from that home too hadn’t actually been in my thoughts much, and now I was suddenly feeling really bad about that. “Jo?” I prodded when he didn’t answer me.

“You can’t tell anyone, Christina.”

“Can’t tell anyone what?” My worry was hitching up. “Were you a victim too, Jo?” I hadn’t been there during the trial, we’d been too young. Uncle Thomas hadn’t allowed it. Still, I think we all knew most of what had been going on in their home before it had been dragged to court.

“It’s years and years ago,” he whispered. “That son of a bitch had already set his eyes on Jørgen, but he was just too young. So I was the replacement for a while, until Jørgen grew up a bit. It’s not like— I mean, I do think about it, but it’s not like it’s hindering my life or anything. I feel so much worse about what happened to Jørgen. That’s what eating me up inside.”

I propped my elbow on the back of the couch and rested my cheek in my palm. “Can I ask you something without you taking offence?”


I swallowed. It was a question I’d asked myself before, but I had never dared ask him. I’d asked Dad once, before he’d killed himself, but he hadn’t answered me. “Why did you never tell anyone? Why did you wait until you were eighteen to go to the police?” Jo and I had always been close, yet at the same time we hadn’t, because we’d never really shared anything as personal as this with each other.

I hadn’t known about what had gone on in their home until Jo went to the police and all hell broke loose. Still, we’d always been in the same schools, and being relatives, we’d always talked together. We’d hung together during primary school, but grown apart once he’d started lower secondary school. We’d grown closer again when he’d started secondary, even though I’d still been in the lower secondary. Now here we were, suddenly talking about the subject I’d never dared go close to before.

“Because I was told from a very young age that if I ever mentioned anything to anyone, they’d kill him.” Jo sighed heavily. “It sounds so cliche, doesn’t it? But that’s what I was told. I was just a kid. Of course I believed it. As I grew older … I wasn’t sure if they meant it or not. They were both, my uncle and mum, crazy enough to actually hurt him like that. So I never dared. When he took matters into his own hands and tried to kill himself— I couldn’t watch it anymore. So I went to the police, because while he was in hospital, they couldn’t get to him.”

“Shit, Jo.” Of course I knew that he was the one to go to the police. I just hadn’t known the reason why.

His head turned towards me. “This got way to serious.” He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further. “I have thought long and hard about my feelings for you, for years. I have to admit, I was freaked at first, but I’m used to it now. You are everything I want, and no matter what, no one else can measure up.”

That earned him a kiss. A long, tender kiss. “It always has been the two of us, hasn’t it? I’ve always felt this way for you. It’s never gone away, no matter how much I’ve tried to make it.” I’d been having sex since I was sixteen. Not because that was the time I was legally allowed to have sex, but because that was when my hero-worship of Jo had gone away and I’d met someone who was actually interested in me. Turned out we weren’t a good match, but at least we’d taken each other virginities and gained some experience out of it all. It had been nice, even if it hadn’t been metaphorically earth-shattering.

He sighed again. “Yeah.” I knew he’d been with women too. Many of them. It had used to bother me, but right now, being here with him, it didn’t. I was the one who had him now, and apparently I’d always had him. We’d just never admitted our feeling to each other

“Should it be this easy?” I asked then. “Working through our feelings. I mean, being cousins and all, one would think it would be a lot harder to accept. I guess I’ve had years of accepting it though, considering how long I’ve been in love with you.”

“Years, yeah,” he echoed. “Lots of them.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And many more to come.” Hopefully, anyway.

Jo put his head back against the back of the couch. His eyes, a pale blue, flicked over to me. “Let’s hope so, yeah.” It was like he’d read my mind.

I leaned in to kiss him again. I couldn’t help myself. I was finally allowed to and I wasn’t going to keep myself back now. “I love you so much, Jo. Have for such a long time.”

“Me too. For you.”

I took notice of the fact that he didn’t say the big words back to me, but what he had said was enough. In my family those words had been used a lot, while in his … probably not at all. I could live with not hearing the words, for now, especially as he’d finally revealed some of the hell he had been through in his childhood.

I was happy just finally being able to be close to him. It was what I’d wanted since I was about thirteen, after all, since that was when I’d started noticing boys. Him, in particular.

“I need a shower,” I said once we pulled apart. I rose to put my plate in the sink, then I headed towards the bathroom. I threw a look at him over my shoulder. His eyes were trained on my bum. “Feel free to join me,” I offered.

I saw the grin spread on his lips and I knew he would. I also knew I wouldn’t exactly get to wash myself clean—but that was more than okay.

The end.

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