As of a month ago, anyway. But I’ve now decided to have a Personal tag on my blog, because I can’t manage keeping track of two blogs, so I’m just going to have everything here. Maybe I’ll actually manage to update this one more often then too.
This summer, I felt so horrible I finally went to see my doctor. She referred me to a psychologist. I’ve now seen said psychologist for over two months, and for a month now I’ve had my diagnosis: bipolar affective disorder. More specifically: Bipolar II, though it perhaps Cyclothymia is in question. It didn’t come as a shock, the diagnosis, more as a relief. I have done a lot of research on mental illnesses, and I’ve written two books with a main character who’s suffering from Bipolar I, so I know exactly what it is. I knew when I went to the doctor this summer, and she too mentioned the possibility of bipolar. It used to be known as manic-depressive (and I’ve seen Bipolar II described as creative-depressive), but I prefer the term bipolar.
So yeah, it was a relief to finally be able to put words to what was wrong with me. It was something, it wasn’t just something in my head. Even if yeah, it is completely in my head, but there’s actually a diagnosis for it. I’m not the only one with this disorder; a lot of people out there manage to live a normal life with it. That’s what I want, isn’t it? I don’t want to sit here and stare at the wall, or freak out about every little thing, or lay in my bed because the thoughts jump around, or I’m too depressed to move, or too angry to the point of wanting to hit someone. That’s why I went to see my doctor. That’s why I’m seeing a psychologist. That’s why I’m now on medicine.
I just hope it works. But like everything, it takes time.
Congrats on getting diagnosed! That can be a big hurdle. I really help the medicine works out for you, and you can have the happy, normal life you want. Good luck!
*hope (sorry. I need to learn to proofread better, obviously. >.<)
Thanks so much J.K.! I hope the medicine work out as well, it just sucks that it takes so long… I’m keeping on to hope though. ^__^